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Shakespeare: Merry Wives of Windsor Act lll

January 18, 2011 by Lori Mitchell

Act lll Scene 1
Evans is waiting for Caius for some progesterone induced dueling. Buy Drugs Without Prescription As we know Caius isn’t going to show up because he’s waiting elsewhere. Evans gets tired of waiting so he sends Simple out to find Caius. After Simple leaves, Evan’s heaves a huge sigh of relief because he is really just a big wuss and is relieved that Caius hasn’t shown up.

Page, Shallow and Slender show up. They pretend they are clueless about the situation and tell Evan’s that Caius is nearby and has his panties all in a wad about being wronged. Evan’s gets all cocky and struts around since Caius isn’t around to challenge him, and Evan’s calls Caius a big fat chicken boy.

The Host, Caius, and Rugby enter. Evans and Caius pose for a bit and try to act tough. Evans is all crying like a big baby trying to kiss up to Caius and make nice, while talking smack in front of the others. Caius calls him on being a jerk, and the Host decides to step in and admit that he sent them to different places to keep them from fighting. So he decides to play mediator and talks them into putting down their swords and play nice. The Host decides his work there is done, so he leaves. Once he’s gone Evans and Caius still have their adrenalin pumping and decide to turn Host.

Scene ll
Ford runs into Mrs. Page with Falstaff’s page and Ford figures out that Mrs. Page is up to some hanky panky. Being the pompous jerk that he is, he starts ridiculing Page for not knowing and decides to tell on her just for pure enjoyment at watching Page being humiliated. Then he decides he’d better go home so he can catch Falstaff with his own wife!

Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Evans and Caius show up. They are on their way to see Anne Page. Shallow and Slender are hoping that Anne will agree to merry Slender today. Page shows is all for this plan, but Mrs. Page would rather Anne choose Caius. Host brings up Fenton, but Page says that Fenton is too snotty to be suitable for his baby girl.
Ford invites everybody to his house to expose a monster.

Scene lll
Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page are plotting their revenge on Falstaff. They decide to dump his butt in a dirty laundry basket and dump him in a muddy ditch of the Thames River.

Falstaff comes in and starts trying to con Mrs. Ford by telling her how much he loves her. Mrs. Ford plays along and tells him she loves him too. Just then, (according to plan) Robin rushes in and says that Mrs. Page is there and she’s all upset and has to see Mrs. Ford ASAP. Falstaff totally tweaks out and hides behind some wall-hangings.

Mrs. Page tells her that Ford is coming home right now with a whole crowd on people to catch Mrs. Ford with a man. Mrs. Page tells her to hurry up and get rid of the man if he is there. She suggests that perhaps they should hide him in a laundry basket. Then Mrs. Ford says that won’t work because he’s way too big for it. Falstaff who is a coward as well as a jerk and has no clue he is being played is in a sudden panic and comes out from his hiding place and says he can totally squeeze into the basket. Mrs. Page pretends to be all surprised he is there and asks him if the letters really are his. He professes his love and climbs into the basket. Mrs. Ford has her servants cart him away.

Ford and his band of merry men show up just as the servants get the basket with Falstaff hidden inside out the door. He searches the house and of course doesn’t find anybody.

Mrs. Page and Mrs. Ford are celebrating their superior brains and plan some more revenge for Falstaff. I can almost feel sorry for him here, but it’s too fun to watch the tormenting, so I’ll reserve the pity. They decide to send Miss Quickly to apologize for them and give him more hope. Then they’ll play another dirty trick on him.

Ford and the rat pack return and Ford has to grovel because he didn’t find anybody in his house so he has to apologize to his wife and beg her forgiveness.

Scene lV
Fenton tells Anne Page that he’s all bummed because her father doesn’t want him to marry her. He tells her that at first he just wanted her for her money, but now he kinda likes her. What girl’s head wouldn’t be turned at this? Anne tells him not to worry about it and just keep swimming (yes, Finding Nemo is the answer to every question).

Shallow, Slender and Quickly come in. They brought Slender to woo Anne. He’s so shy that he can’t seem to do anything but stand there and pick his nose, so he decides to let Shallow do all the talking and just nods his head in agreement. Anne finally tells Shallow to shut up and let Slender man up and talk to her himself. He tells Anne that he’s only wooing her because her father and his uncle told him to and he doesn’t have a spine to do what he wants. He doesn’t give a care one way or the other if he marries her or not.

Page and Mrs. Page pop in and Page tries to convince Anne she should love Slender. He’s all grumpy because Fenton is there as well, and insists he will never Fenton his blessing.

Page, Shallow and Slender leave, and Fenton starts kissing up to Mrs. Page, and telling her how much he loves Ann, and not just her money either. Anne says she really doesn’t want to marry Slender because he’s such a total goober. She doesn’t want to marry Caius either, no matter what her parents want. Mrs. Page finally gives in and tells Fenton that she’ll talk to Anne and see how she feels about him.

When Quickly is left alone with Fenton, she tells him that he owes her one because it’s all her doing that he has a chance at all with Anne. Fenton leaves, and Quickly says that even though she’s going to be an advocate for all three men, she’ll mostly advocate on Fenton’s behalf.

V
Falstaff tells Bardolph to get him some wine and bread. He’s all whiney about being tossed in the river. Quickly shows up and Falstaff is all butt hurt and is jerky towards her. Quickly explains that Mrs. Ford says that her servants screwed up and she never meant for him to get tossed into the river and that she really wants to see him. Being a dump man who thinks with his little head, he totally buys into this scenario and agrees to give her another chance.

Ford comes in disguised as Brook. He asked cialis gel Falstaff what happened between him and Mrs. Page. Falstaff tells him the truth about getting tossed into the river. Ford is secretly jumping for joy, thinking this pretty much puts an end to Falstaff hitting on his wife, but Falstaff tells him that he’s going to go get lucky with her in just a few minutes.
After Falstaff leaves, Ford throws a jealous, hissy fit and swears that Falstaff will not get away with it this time.